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Read all about the adventures of the Tsao Family during the summer of 2012

Thursday, October 27, 2005

 

What would Michelle Duggar do?

Do you remember when South Park was nothing more than an animated short being passed around the Internet? The little video was called The Spirit of Christmas; and in it, figure skater Brian Boitano was the kids' role model and the inspiration for their mantra What would Brian Boitano Do?

There are many times during my days as a mommy that I've searched my memory banks for the perfect mommy role model. I usually think about my own mom, my mother-in-law, my grandma, my aunts, or the countless other women I have known who have been (or still are) like a mother to me.

Having a host of mommy role models from which to choose is great, but I've often thought it would be nice to have just one mommy role model. Maybe someone a tad more surreal than anybody I actually know and love. And since Brian Boitano is already taken, I've decided--after reading this recent posting on Blogging Baby--on my very own all-weather, all-situations, all-crisis mommy role model. Hence the phrase--that when repeated out loud will speak directly to the Gods and Goddesses and help me solve my latest mommy problem--

What would Michelle Duggar do?

It's a valid question that most certainly will have an answer. Let's consider this woman's qualifications as the uber mother.

First, she has sixteen kids. She has sixteen biological children, which means she's been pregnant for at least 144 months of her life. 144 months is also known as twelve years. Twelve years! I've been pregnant twice and I hated almost every minute of it.

Second, she has sixteen kids. Sixteen children who need to eat, who need clean clothes, who need their mommy. She has sixteen children who call her mommy. I have two and I feel sometimes like my head is about to explode.

Third, she has sixteen kids. Sixteen children whom she HOME SCHOOLS! Once in awhile, Mike brings up the topic of home schooling and it makes me want to curl up in the corner with my arms around my knees and cry.

How does this woman do it?

If Michelle Duggar can birth, nurture, and home school sixteen children, I'd like to think I can handle raising two. Perhaps if I can conjure up this non-mythical mommy--this Michelle Duggar person--when the going is getting tough, then I can figure out how to handle those trying times when my first thought is, "Whose idea was this to have children?" and my second thought is, "If I leave now would anybody blame me?"

Scenario: The kids are driving me nuts. I scream out loud, "I need a vacation!"
Question: What would Michelle Duggar do?
Answer: Have another baby. That day or two in the hospital after you give birth? That's your vacation, honey.

Scenario: Daughter is being fussy about eating. Doesn't seem to want anything that's green or healthy or isn't a cookie.
Question: What would Michelle Duggar do?
Answer: Make a tater tot casserole or a hashbrown casserole. What kid can resist tater tots and velveeta cheese? The preparation of non-canned or non-frozen vegetables is for people who have lots of time and no kids. Get real.

Scenario: I discover I'm pregnant with my third (fourth, fifth, sixteenth...) child.
Question: What would Michelle Duggar do?
Answer: Pray.