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Location: Northern California

Read all about the adventures of the Tsao Family during the summer of 2012

Wednesday, September 07, 2005


Timeline? Check.

I never thought home repair and backyard remodel would be two of my hobbies. I also never thought that blogging would be one of my hobbies. And if someone had told me I was going to gain and lose fifty pounds (twice!) over the course of two years, I would have laughed. But I might have believed him.

See, every woman has a plan for her life, a timeline. Some women have lots of well-placed markers on their timelines: first college, then grad school, then a series of boyfriends while working on career, then a serious boyfriend while getting serious about career, an engagement, a wedding, house, kids, etc. My timeline was less defined about things like school, career, and marriage (I did career, marriage, school, divorce, career, marriage), but I always knew that I would have kids by the age of thirty five.

Thirty five is when I figured my timeline would come face to face with my biological clock and all hell would break loose.

When I was thirty two, a woman OBGYN told me point-blank that I needed to think about kids soon, that I wasn’t getting any younger. I thought it was a little forward for her to bring up the topic seeing as how we had just met, but then I realized that since she had her hand up my crotch, we could (should!) consider ourselves close friends.

Like a close friend, she was telling me the truth and hey, the truth hurt. Especially since I was in a lackluster relationship at the time with a guy who would have made a great dad if he himself didn’t have the mind of a child, and procreating seemed like a bad, bad idea.

And then a bunch of stuff happened. Correction: and then I did a bunch of things that needed to be done in order for me to put my life in the direction I wanted it to go. As usual, I took one step back for every two steps forward, but everything worked out in the end.

First, I dumped the guy. Then I made a mistake and got a crazy dog, a beautiful black lab mix puppy with blue eyes. Then I made another mistake and got back together with the guy. Then I moved out of my comfort zone, my rent-controlled flat in San Francisco, and into a new place in Berkeley. Then I got smart and got rid of the crazy dog. Then I got real smart and got rid of the guy. Then I moved into a sweet little bachelorette pad in Alameda. Then I answered an email from a co-worker asking if I wanted to “carpool” to a 4th of July party. Then we went to Burning Man. Then we talked about having kids. Then I got pregnant. Then we moved in together. Then we got married.

My timeline got a lot of markers on it all at once since all of these things happened in an eleven month time period between January and July of 2003. I was thirty four when Emily was born and thirty six when Thomas was born: right on schedule.

Girlfriend, if you, too, have a timeline, and that timeline seems to have a mind of its own, have no fear. It is possible to live for many years wondering when your dream man will come or when your prayers will be answered or when LIFE will finally happen to you. But one day things will start to click and make sense and you will step out of your comfort zone and do something crazy like move, or dump your excess baggage of a boyfriend, or date a co-worker and then, just then, something extraordinarily cool will happen and LIFE will come full speed at you. So be ready, but don’t be too prepared. The best things in life happen when you least expect them.

Believe me.