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Read all about the adventures of the Tsao Family during the summer of 2012

Saturday, February 11, 2006

 

Please land, I'm feeling illt

One of the books we read with Emily before bed is Miss Spider's New Car. Emily has the book memorized, although she doesn't always pronounce the words right. Instead of saying, "Sha-Woosh! Please land, I'm feeling ill," she says, "Sha-woosh! Please land, I'm feeling illt." It's the cutest thing. (And, yes, I'm totally bragging about how my 32-month-old has entire books memorized.)

Today I felt illt. It started in the middle of the night when I woke up with a tummy ache. I wondered if it was because I was nervous about my post on Mommybloggers, but I decided no. Then I wondered if it was because I had eaten roughly three handfuls of Trader Joe's oreos last night before bed. Oh, and then washed their creamy and chocolate cookie goodness down with two or three glasses of cabernet sauvignon. Hmm, that might be it, but I do that kind of thing with alarming frequency and am rarely affected by it in such a manner as this. Perplexed, I decided that I wasn't going to puke and I managed to fall back into a disturbed sleep.

I woke up this morning at 7:00 with the kids and made it as far as the kitchen couch, where I stayed in a fetal position until Mike got up and said, "Okay, you can go back to bed now." So back to bed I went until 10:30, when I woke up to check my email and eat a bowl of cheerios. My stomach was still upset and like any woman who has two kids and who has sworn to have no more, I thought to myself, Is it possible that I'm pregnant? The thought made me illt. I remembered what our nanny Rosa told me just last Thursday: "When I found out I was pregnant with my third I cried for two weeks." I wondered if I should start my two week crying jag today.

I felt a little less illt when I remembered that I'm religiously taking my little white pills that prevent pregnancy. And then I remembered my friend's story. She was on the pill, too. And then she got into a minor car accident and the hospital gave her a pregnancy test before running some other tests, and I bet you can guess what I'm going to tell you now. Yep, she was pregnant. Ladies, never trust those low dose pills, unless you're okay with low meaning no.

Anyway, I don't mean to get you all startled and freaked out. It's highly unlikely I'm pregnant and much more likely that I shoveled too many cookies into my head. Mike thinks my illtness is psychosomatic and caused by yesterday's Oprah show. She had her fitness guru friend on it and they were chastising (but in a helpful, nice way) some puzzled women whose weight loss had plateaud even though they exercised all of the time. Of course, they were also eating like horses and that's the behavior that needed to stop. I was eating a box of cookies at the time, but that didn’t stop me from trash talking those clueless beyotches.

This afternoon after spending hours reading blogs I decided that it's possible I'm feeling illt because I'm doing too much and I need to take a break. So I went back to bed. This time I took Thomas with me and he slept on my chest. I was awash in the sweet smell of baby breath for a good eighty minutes. Of course, I was in a completely awkward position and didn't sleep at all, but it felt so good to hold him like that. I slept with Emily lots during the day, especially when I was pregnant with Thomas. But I don't do it much with him. It was nice.

After Thomas woke up and Mike took him, I went back to sleep until 4:00 PM. When I woke up I felt much better and much less illt. In fact, I felt so not illt that I went running with Thomas in the jogging stroller while Mike took Emily to get Japanese food. Because really, there's nothing like raw fish to soothe an unsettled stomach.