Fear not the Asian market
I feel better. I no longer want to smash plates. As Donna suggested, I'm taking deep breaths. Seriously. Today I actually stopped before I screamed at Emily, took a deep breath, and counted out loud to ten. Then I left the room. And it worked! I actually felt the tension leave my body and the issue (Emily crying and screaming when I changed her diaper then refusing to put her pants back on) ended up resolving itself. She wore no pants the rest of the day and hey, that's okay.
Also, as Susan noted in her recent post, I'm realizing more and more the importance of my female friends. Today a friend came over for a playdate and a chat and tomorrow I'm meeting another friend for coffee before I get my hair cut. And if the contact with other like-minded people doesn't help, the hairdresser therapy certainly will.
Today was a good day. Even though it rained all day and the kids and I were stuck inside, it was okay. I cooked, cleaned, read some blogs, played, and practiced deep breathing. After Mike got home and we had dinner, I went for a long run: 3 miles without stopping! I felt extremely good after that.
I used to date a guy in college who suffered from depression. This was in 1987 and before then, I don't think I had ever known anybody who admitted (at least to me) that they were depressed or had suffered from depression. This guy told me that if I ever was depressed the trick was to keep doing the routine. Get up every day, shower, get dressed, exercise, go to work. When he gave in to his feelings was when they took over and things went black.
I understand now what he means. Back when I worked, I had no problem following a routine. Regardless of how I felt (and I had bad days before I had kids, too), I got up, showered, and went to work. My work usually kept me from dwelling on whatever was getting me down. And my co-workers made great therapists.
I no longer have co-worker counselors or co-workers or even a job, so it's up to me to get up every day, put clothes on that don't qualify as pajamas, and occupy my mind with work. Taking care of the kids fulfills part of this function although doing housework is a better way for me to lose myself in mindless tasks. Because I don't have co-workers sitting at their desks waiting for me to distract them from their work, I have to make an effort to connect with other like-minded mom friends. Blogs bring a much-needed reminder that I'm not unique or unusual when I feel like I'm the worst mother in the world, but having friends in real life to remind me of that is important, too.
It seems kind of sad and pathetic to put the reality of being a housewife slash mom in terms like this, but I am the mother to two very small children whose wants, demands, and needs are simple yet constant and at the same time, mundane. I liken my current mothering job to that of a receptionist or an administrative assistant; I do many of the same tasks over and over again. But I also know that in a couple of years (when the kids are in preschool) I'll get promoted to some other more lofty position and then I'll be able to indulge in long lunches and hours spent surfing the net. Plus I'll get a salary increase and I'll have less actual work to do, which is most often the case in the working world, too, if I remember correctly.
Wow, enough about my issues. What about what I made for dinner tonight? It was easy and yummy. I call it Tasty Curry and you will, too, after you make it. The secret is the Japanese Tasty Curry Sauce Mix, which you can purchase at your local Asian market, assuming you have one. If not, don't despair! There's always the Internet. This recipe is adapted from the one I found on the back of the box. I was inspired to food blog tonight after reading Ayun Halliday's food blog Dirty Sugar Cookies, which I wrote about yesterday for BlogHer.
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Technorati tags: motherhood, depression, Japanese curry, recipe
Also, as Susan noted in her recent post, I'm realizing more and more the importance of my female friends. Today a friend came over for a playdate and a chat and tomorrow I'm meeting another friend for coffee before I get my hair cut. And if the contact with other like-minded people doesn't help, the hairdresser therapy certainly will.
Today was a good day. Even though it rained all day and the kids and I were stuck inside, it was okay. I cooked, cleaned, read some blogs, played, and practiced deep breathing. After Mike got home and we had dinner, I went for a long run: 3 miles without stopping! I felt extremely good after that.
I used to date a guy in college who suffered from depression. This was in 1987 and before then, I don't think I had ever known anybody who admitted (at least to me) that they were depressed or had suffered from depression. This guy told me that if I ever was depressed the trick was to keep doing the routine. Get up every day, shower, get dressed, exercise, go to work. When he gave in to his feelings was when they took over and things went black.
I understand now what he means. Back when I worked, I had no problem following a routine. Regardless of how I felt (and I had bad days before I had kids, too), I got up, showered, and went to work. My work usually kept me from dwelling on whatever was getting me down. And my co-workers made great therapists.
I no longer have co-worker counselors or co-workers or even a job, so it's up to me to get up every day, put clothes on that don't qualify as pajamas, and occupy my mind with work. Taking care of the kids fulfills part of this function although doing housework is a better way for me to lose myself in mindless tasks. Because I don't have co-workers sitting at their desks waiting for me to distract them from their work, I have to make an effort to connect with other like-minded mom friends. Blogs bring a much-needed reminder that I'm not unique or unusual when I feel like I'm the worst mother in the world, but having friends in real life to remind me of that is important, too.
It seems kind of sad and pathetic to put the reality of being a housewife slash mom in terms like this, but I am the mother to two very small children whose wants, demands, and needs are simple yet constant and at the same time, mundane. I liken my current mothering job to that of a receptionist or an administrative assistant; I do many of the same tasks over and over again. But I also know that in a couple of years (when the kids are in preschool) I'll get promoted to some other more lofty position and then I'll be able to indulge in long lunches and hours spent surfing the net. Plus I'll get a salary increase and I'll have less actual work to do, which is most often the case in the working world, too, if I remember correctly.
Wow, enough about my issues. What about what I made for dinner tonight? It was easy and yummy. I call it Tasty Curry and you will, too, after you make it. The secret is the Japanese Tasty Curry Sauce Mix, which you can purchase at your local Asian market, assuming you have one. If not, don't despair! There's always the Internet. This recipe is adapted from the one I found on the back of the box. I was inspired to food blog tonight after reading Ayun Halliday's food blog Dirty Sugar Cookies, which I wrote about yesterday for BlogHer. Tasty Curry
1 small white onion
6 small red or yellow potatoes
2 handfuls baby carrots
2-3 cups cooked chicken (I used leftover roasted chicken)
3 T oil
3 cups water
1/2 box Tasty Curry Sauce Mix
4-5 servings cooked white rice
- Chop vegetables into bite sized pieces.
- Heat oil in saucepan over medium heat.
- Add veggies and cook until onions are semi-translucent, stirring often.
- Add water to pot, raise heat, and bring to boil.
- Reduce heat, cover, and simmer until veggies are tender, 10-15 minutes.
- Add Tasty Curry Sauce Mix to the pot and stir until melted.
- Simmer and stir for approximately 5 more minutes.
Enjoy over white rice.
Makes 4-5 servings.
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Technorati tags: motherhood, depression, Japanese curry, recipe
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