I got a new mothertude

Today has been a hard day with the kids. Thomas is sick, which equates to needy, and he bursts into tears and howling about every other minute. He alternates between wanting to be held and wanting to be left alone. He's also talking more and using words to indicate what he needs. The problem is that it's difficult to understand him and my inability to interpret what he's saying leads to more frustration and tears on his part. Heck, there's frustration and tears on my part, too.

Emily has learned how to nag and boy, is it neat! Not. She seems unable to ask for anything once. Instead, she repeats her request over and over again until I tell her to stop talking. I find myself saying, Ask me one more time and you won't get anything! quite a bit. I'm not exactly proud of myself, but it's freakin' hard to always be patient and loving and supportive. Really hard.

Rosa will be here tomorrow. Whoo hoo! I am really looking forward to my day off. I will be visiting a cousin who just had her second child. I'll bring her lunch and give her my advice on how to handle life with two kids. Ha ha! The idea is pretty funny because I don't think I know how to manage two kids. Some of my best parenting days are the ones when Rosa is here with the kids and I am elsewhere.

I am grateful that we have the money to hire a babysitter two days a week. I'm grateful for other things, too.

• I am grateful for my house and its fenced-in yard and patio. It's perfect for our family and our kids.
  
• I am grateful for my husband and his cool-minded support. He came home early today knowing that I was about to reach boiling point. I let him deal with the crying and screaming while I curled up on the couch and read my new copy of Brain, Child magazine.
  
• I am grateful for the fact that other women write about their own trying experiences with their kids. It's no secret that this whole motherhood gig is hard. Ya, I say things I'm not proud of, but today was today and tomorrow is a new day. The only thing I can do is resolve to do better tomorrow.
  
• I am grateful for the fact that my kids go to bed every night without a fuss. Bathtime is at 7 sharp; Thomas is in bed no later than 7:30; Emily is in bed no later than 8:30. And they both sleep all night without waking until 7 AM. I need to remind myself more often of how good it feels to get an entire night's sleep every night. After two babies in two years, sleep is a gift that I never again will take for granted.
  
• I am grateful for this girl and her smile:
  

Her smile lights up my life.

***
Technorati tags: motherhood, gratitude