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Location: Northern California

Read all about the adventures of the Tsao Family during the summer of 2012

Sunday, July 09, 2006


What a Difference Two Years Makes

Two years ago today, I was pregnant:

A year ago today, I had one of these:

A year ago today, Thomas was 8 months old and still nursing.

A year ago today, I wrote this post:

Snuggle bunny human alarm clock

This morning my alarm clocks wake me as usual. I have two alarm clocks -- both human. The first pads into our room some time in the pre-dawn hour of 5:00 and nudges me with her brown bear. I hit the snooze alarm on this alarm clock by hauling her, her bear, and her yellow blanket into bed with us. She settles between us and we go back to sleep. My second human alarm clock goes off at 5:48 AM. Why is this alarm clock so precise?, you might ask. I do not know; I did not set it. Perhaps 5:48 AM is the exact moment that the first ray of morning light sneaks into his room and tickles his eyelid. Perhaps he came hard-wired and he'll wake up at 5:48 AM every day for the rest of his life. I don't know if I wish him longevity at this point. All I know is that I am up now, stumbling into the second human alarm clock's bedroom where he impatiently waits for me to pick him up and feed him.

We snuggle in the big blue armchair that I bought knowing this would be its use. While he's nursing I harbor a hidden hope that he will go back to sleep so I close my eyes and imagine a life where I can sleep until 7. But this is a dream, a fantasy. He is awake, his big blue eyes staring straight into mine, his free hand roaming my face like Helen Keller on Annie Sullivan's that day at the well. Once in awhile his hand will stop at my necklace and he touches the stone in a gentle sort of way. Then he yanks it hard. "No, no," I say, "that's Mommy's new necklace, not baby's new necklace." And then I pry his surprisingly strong little hand off my jewels and stare at it in wonderment. What a hand! It's a hand with much potential, I can tell. I love how he holds things with it. Not too long ago his hand was clenched in a permanent fist, but now it's a tool. He's a (hu)man, not an animal! Good, because I was worried there for a second when it seemed that all he was capable of was crying, peeing, and regurgitating his food.

After he eats we spend some time in love together. He lays his head on my chest and I rub his back. After a few seconds of this, he pops his head up to make sure I'm still there and we stare adoringly into each other's eyes. He may make a noise such as "A-Da" or "Ahh!" I usually repeat the same noise back to him and I'm sure he appreciates our dialogue of love. I know this because of the gigantic grin he gives me that makes my heart melt. As Mike puts it, Thomas is my biggest fan. I want to remember these moments so that later when he spits sweet potato at me I can wipe it off with a smile because I'm still warm and fuzzy from the love of my very own snuggle bunny human alarm clock.

Now I have one of these:

Eating cherries

He's still my biggest fan, but he no longer nurses and now he wakes me up at 7:00 instead of 5:48.

Life continues to be good.

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