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Location: Northern California

Friday, May 05, 2006

 

From Times Square to big time

You cannot believe how excited I am to reveal that I have crossed the line from celebrity spotter to ... celebrity.

Yes, folks, the kids and I were stopped today during our meanderings through Times Square by a soft voice asking, "Do you want to be on TV? Do you want to be on televion?"

I hesitated. Me? The mom too shy to use the bathroom at the pizza parlor because I knew Rosie O'Donnell was in there and I couldn't bear to be share stall noises with a mega star? Me?

And then I heard the opening bars of the music from The People's Court. Dum Dum Dum Dum. I inched my way closer to the action.

And then the camera picked me up! And then an assistant asked me to move closer! And soon I was watching a video of The People's Court! And realizing that I needed a drink! And then this guy was saying things, and I was thinking, Oh shit. He's soon going to ask me my opinion on something and I can barely follow what he's talking about and I need to look like I'm not a fool, and oh shit. And Emily was pointing at the monitor and tugging at me, and saying, "Mommy, look! There Mommy! There Emily!"

And then Harvey Levin asked me a question and I said,
"Mumble mumble, uh, bleh. Three or four days!" and then he moved to somebody else. And apparently the fact that I could speak was good enough for them and somebody went, "Four, three, two, one!" And then Harvey Levin started talking in a serious TV-quality tone and he asked me the same question again. This time I dropped the mumbling and just said, "Three or four days!" And then the guy next to me said the opposite. And then Harvey Levin said I had cute kids.

And that was it.

I'm waiting for my phone to ring.

The People's Court. May 14th. I'm the harried mom with the tattoo and the tank top and the two cute kids. Look for me!
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