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Location: Northern California

Read all about the adventures of the Tsao Family during the summer of 2012

Tuesday, July 25, 2006


Some Kind of Mother

I have a lifelong love of the band Metallica. It started sophomore year of high school, 1983. I've seen Metallica play live with their old bass player, Cliff Burton, who died when the band's tour bus went off the road during a European tour in 1986.

I've seen them play at a number of venues, including ones that no longer exist, like the Kabuki nightclub in San Francisco. The Kabuki nightclub was razed and replaced by a multiplex. I stopped listening to their music around 1991 with "The Black Album." The last time I saw them perform was with the San Francisco Symphony in 1999.

I'm reminiscing about Metallica right now because I'm re-watching "Some Kind of Monster," which is a documentary about the making of their last album "St. Anger." The film freaks me out because it's so personal and a lot of it is one giant group therapy session. It's almost too much to know that these guys who were literally GODS to me and my friends in high school are actually just real people. Real people with some severe problems who are vulnerable and who are working their way through life just like the rest of us.

Watching the film is almost like a full circle moment for me. But not necessarily a good one, ya know? It makes me feel old to see the heroes of my time getting old.

Mike and I talk once in awhile about our images. How will our children see us. I remember in high school thinking my mom was old. Of course, she was about the age I am now. So what does that make me? Sometimes I see myself as that same girl in high school, getting ready to go see Metallica--excited, pumped, having a good time--but my kids will never see me that way. That's okay; it's just the truth.

I wanted to include a great photo with this post, something from days gone by, a big hair shot or something. But I don't have a lot of photos of myself from those days. Instead, I will leave you with this photo of me and Mike from last Saturday.

You know, I don't really feel so old when I look at this picture. I'm sure one day I'm going to look at this shot and think, Look how young we were! Right now, I can look at this picture and imagine those same feelings of excitement and anticipation I felt at seeing my favorite band play live. Maybe we're not getting old. Maybe we're just growing up.

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